Over the summer months I have been exploring what Stoic philosophy can teach us about how to live a fulfilled, meaningful and authentic life. The Stoics focussed on virtue, living according to nature, acting with integrity, connection and compassion.But at the heart of Stoicism is a simple, but incredibly powerful notion, the dichotomy of control.
“Some things are up to us, and some are not up to us” Epictetus
Put simply, peace comes from not from being in control, but from clarity about knowing where our control begins and ends. As clinicians, we are trained to take control, to fix, to solve, to manage risk, anticipate complications. It’s a mindset that saves lives but can quietly consume us when things go wrong.
With hindsight, I spent much of my career trying to control future outcomes, working ever harder to maximise the odds for passing exams, being hypervigilant so I would never make a clinical error. All of this at a significant cost to my emotional health. The dichotomy of control teaches us to ask a deceptively simple, but transformational question; Is it under our control or not?
Within our control are:
Our actions
Our efforts
Our integrity
Our response to events
Our judgements, how we choose to see the world
Our behaviour towards others
Outside our control are:
The outcome of our efforts
What others think about us
Human biology
Random chance
The beliefs and behaviours of others
The external world
The Stoics understood that concerning ourselves with things that are beyond our control keeps us stuck and drains our energy. The trap of ‘total responsibility’ is when we feel responsible for things over which we don’t have control. It’s a natural extension of caring deeply, but drives us towards an impossible standard. The truth is that even perfect effort doesn’t guarantee a perfect outcome.
The Stoics remind us:
“Do not demand that things that happen as you wish, but wish them to happen as they do happen, and you will go on well” Epictetus.
So, when we separate effort from outcome and control from chance, we create space for;
Growth without shame
Compassion for self
Humility with uncertainty
Peace with what can’t be controlled.
So now, when I’m faced with adversity, treated poorly or the unexpected happens, I take a breath and ask myself:
“What can I control, and what is beyond my control?”
Breaking a lifetime’s habit of frustration and misdirected effort isn’t easy, the Stoics never claimed it was. But it is truly transformational and has the power to offer what the Stoics named ataraxia: