I have found becoming a Samaritan listener a truly enriching experience. So, I thought I would share a few thoughts about some of my learning.
I do this in service to fellow clinicians who might find themselves supporting colleagues in distress, and as a reminder that the Samaritans listening service is always available.
1. ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ซ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ฌ ๐๐จ๐ง๐ง๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง. Active listening is both ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐ง๐ฌ๐๐จ๐ซ๐ฆ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐๐ฅ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฉ๐จ๐ญ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐ข๐๐-๐ฌ๐๐ฏ๐ข๐ง๐ . It creates a space where thoughts can be untangled, emotions explored, healing can occur.
2. The power of silence. “๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ช๐ฆ๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ, ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ” – Rumi.
As clinicians, silence can feel awkward, but Iโve learned to embrace it. Itโs the place where new ideas are formed and insights surface.
โ๐๐ช๐ญ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ ๐ช๐ด ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฃ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ด๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ฅ, ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ข๐ต๐ต๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏโ-Nancy Kline
3. When listening to someone in distress, be non-directive, switch off our medical mindset, avoid giving advice/solutions. The power is ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ข๐ง ๐๐ข๐ฑ๐ข๐ง๐ , ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ข๐ง ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ซ๐๐๐ญ๐ ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ง๐๐ข๐ง๐ .
4. Avoid sharing our own experiences. We might feel it builds rapport. But, with a distressed colleague, this ‘๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฉ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ง ๐๐ฑ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ข๐๐ง๐๐’ prevents deep listening, putting the frame of reference on ourselves.
๐๐ซ๐ฎ๐ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ฏ๐จ๐ฅ๐ฏ๐๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐๐ญ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ฌ๐ข๐๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐.
5. Iโve learned not to suggest how someone should feel. Invalidating emotions, telling someone to โ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ด๐ช๐ต๐ช๐ท๐ฆโ, or suggesting they โ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ฏโ is profoundly unhelpful to someone in distress. Instead of โ๐๐ฐ๐ฏโ๐ต ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ณ๐บ, ๐ช๐ต ๐ธ๐ช๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐ฆโ, try โ๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ด๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ด ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐บ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ง๐ง๐ช๐ค๐ถ๐ญ๐ต. ๐๐ฆ๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ด.โ
This ๐๐จ๐๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ง ๐๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ซ๐ ๐ก๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ฌ. Our doctor mindset often prioritises facts, data. Instead, deep empathic listening focuses on allowing layers of emotions to surface.
6. If suicidal thoughts show up in conversation, ๐ ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐๐ฑ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐จ๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฆ ๐ซ๐๐๐ฎ๐๐๐ฌ, ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ข๐ง๐๐ซ๐๐๐ฌ๐๐ฌ, ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ซ๐ข๐ฌ๐ค ๐จ๐ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ข๐๐ข๐๐.
We often worry that exploring suicidal thoughts might โput an idea in someoneโs headโ, but the evidence is the precise opposite. It’s silence thatโs the real risk. https://lnkd.in/dWw3vG6Q
So, if your intuition guides you, have the courage to ask a distressed colleague if they are having thoughts about ending their life. This can be life-saving.
The Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123.
And the following link offers advice on supporting someone with suicidal thoughts. https://lnkd.in/dJ9BJAH9